Sleepless Night

It has been a while since I had my sleepless night.  
Those were the days, when Timmy was little.

Recently, I had those sleepless night again.
When Timmy said that he can't sleep, he was restless, and threw up at night.
I read him bedtime stories, made him milk, tucked him in bed and said our night prayer together,  accompanied him to sleep...      

Just as I thought that he has fallen asleep, I gently got out of bed, tiptoed to my room.
Just a few steps of my walking, Timmy woke up.
He realised that I was awake.

There I go again, went back to his bed, slept beside him.
The process happened several times.
That night I had my sleepless night.

It reminded me of Timmy's baby and toddler days...
When I had to wake up several times at night,
to feed him milk....
to comfort him when he cried....
to rock him in my craddle....

I'm glad that those days are over....
And the recent occasion reminded me of those early motherhood days....

I can't bear the thought of having another baby.
I don't think that I'll have the energy and strength of waking up at night....
then having to wake up in the morning to prepare breakfast for Timmy, and send him to school,
then having to take care of the baby, when I come back from school for the baby...
There is no way that I'll have the energy needed.

Now, when Timmy has gone to school,
I can rest for a while, then clean the house, or go to the bank, or hang out with other mothers for a while,
or go to the market, and cook.
I like my life now.

Well, marriage and motherhood is full of ups and downs...
I need to learn along the way...
And may God guide me along the way...
to become the kind of self,
to become the kind of wife,
to become the kind of mother,
that God wants me to be....
Please guide me God...
Amen.