What a Day!

Today, I felt that my patience is challenged.

Parenting is a challenging journey...

As quoted from oureverydaythings.com
When babies are born, we find them all cute and adorable...
Their little coos and gurgles. Their tiny hands holding onto our fingers. Their eyes looking oh so intently into ours. Treasured and sweet moments indeed.

And, all babies grow up. They gradually become more independent. They learn to communicate their wants. And the reality is, from toddlerhood on, when these little ones wish to exert their demands, opinions and quest for independence, things (unfortunately) tend to end up looking and sounding rather far from cute and adorable.

They are capable of screaming, kicking a fuss, throwing toys around in their moments of ‘unhappiness’ and talking back in an unkind manner. To name a few.

Timmy is going through the phase like other preschooler, where his attitudes are often beyond what anyone will regard as respectful. Talking back, ignoring me, pretending not to hear what I said, looking away, sticking tongue out.

Thank goodness it doesn’t happen ‘all the time’, but on a particularly bad day.

I hope that when we as parents give and do their best in teaching their children -
someday, perhaps in ten or twenty or even thirty years down the road - we’ll see the fruits of our efforts.

The lesson learned is that regardless of the parents consistent firm effort - it doesn’t mean the kids will automatically become ‘good’ kids, ie. kids who are always respectful, obedient, helpful, appreciative and kind.

Reasons being, children are sinners too. And they’re not robots that can be programmed.

Sigh.

But I know one thing is for sure though. If we parents sincerely bring our children up in the right way our efforts will not totally be in vain.

And I have found these tips helpful.
Source : Parents Talk

Step #1
Teach through actions
“Do as I say, not as I do” sounds like a fun idea, but as a parenting tool it rarely (if ever) works. You are your child’s first and most important teacher. Just as children learn to talk by listening to us talk, they learn how to treat others by following our lead. Watch how you treat, not only your kids, but other people you come in contact with during your day. What are you teaching your kids? Teach more than just manners.

When we teach our children manners we must also discuss the not-so-obvious details. Such as looking someone in the eye, using a polite tone of voice, and using real words (such as “yes” instead of “uh huh!”) These are not things our kids are born knowing. We need to teach these important facets of good manners.

Step #2
Be firm but fair
Letting kids get away with bad behavior only breeds more of the same. Make sure your kids know the rules of the family and that you discipline appropriately when rules are broken.

Firm and fair discipline is not haphazard and does not change depending on your mood. It requires a consistency that your kids can count on. (They may not like it, but they can count on it!) I’ve heard it said that it’s not the severity of a consequence that makes it effective, but the certainty of it. When your kids know exactly what your expectations are, and that there will be a penalty for failing to meet those expectations, they will more likely behave in an appropriate manner.

Step #3
Praise good behavior
Your praise and encouragement have a tremendous impact on your child. “Praise” messages are not all verbal, either. An OK hand signal, a wink, a smile, a hug. All these speak volumes to a child who has just done something right. These positive messages reinforce a child’s goodness, and encourage more of the same positive behavior.

Here's the article on 6 steps to manage anger by THERESE J. BORCHARD:
1. Stop.

As you sense your control slipping–STOP. If you are in the middle of a sentence–STOP–don’t even finish your thought, except perhaps to say, “I’m getting mad!” If you are moving–STOP moving. Practice a STOP gesture that can be used as a way to put a physical brake on your emotions. A good STOP gesture is to hold your hands up in front of your face, fingers straight up, palms out. Push the anger away from you, and at the same time say the word STOP.

What if you are so angry at your child that you are ready to strike him and you cannot find the restraint to use your STOP gesture? In that case, channel your physical reaction into a burst of applause. When you feel yourself about to strike, clap your hands. Clap them hard and fast, while you express your feelings of anger.

This anger management technique of acknowledging anger and stopping yourself can be used for all problems. It can be effective with everything from minor irritations that bring irrational anger to major problems that require a clear head to solve.

2. Give yourself space.

When you are angry, the LAST thing you need to do is stay engaged in the situation that is making you mad–all that does is escalate your anger. It is critically important that at this point you do NOT try to deal with the situation that is making you angry. You cannot solve a problem in a fit of anger; it will likely just escalate the situation or create a new layer of problems to deal with. You are going to step away from your child so that you can calm and collect yourself and, very likely, allow your child to calm down a bit, too.

3. Breathe deeply.

Begin by controlling your internal, physical responses to anger. Likely your heart rate is increased, your breathing is rapid, your face is flushed, or your voice is raised. The first step to inner control is to breathe deeply.

Breathing deeply allows your body to fill with oxygen. This will stop the adrenaline rush that floods your body when you are angry. This extra oxygen flow will relax your body, clam your breathing, slow your heart rate, and allow your brain to resume rational thought.

Take a number of slow, even, deep breaths. Put your hand on your stomach and carry the air down until you feel your stomach rise. Try counting or repeating a calming word or phrase, such as “This too shall pass.”

4. Analyze.

Once you’ve calmed down, try to see what really happened. A good way to analyze what happened is to imagine that it happened to someone else–your sister, your brother, or a friend. Looking at the situation as an outsider might help you see the truth. You might more clearly understand where your anger came from, or you may see that your reaction was way out of proportion.

5. Define the problem.

After you have seen the situation more clearly, it is time to precisely define the problem in exact words. See if you can come up with a description of the problem in one or two sentences. Put it in clear, plain words that exactly state the real issue that sparked your anger.

6. Solve.

Once you’ve stated the problem, you can then consider options for solving it. You may want to jot down several possible options on paper or talk about options with another adult. There’s no reason for you to make decisions in a vacuum. I guarantee that the problem you are dealing with is a common one and there are lots of sources for solutions.

Finally, let’s continually ask for God’s wisdom, so that we’re better equipped too in raising and bringing up our little ones according to His ways.

Because being a parent is never easy, and we can’t be close to being a ‘good parent’ without HIS guidance and mercy.