Reflecting upon my life lately, made me think.....
I have a language centre to run, but come to think of it, I don't enjoy running it...
When I think that a lot of people are out there pursuing their career, why am I not interested in pursuing a career and really wanted to be a full time mommy instead? I have an aunt who is in her 60, and just opened a bread store. Imagine, she is 60 and stared a brand new thing, and here I am in my 30s and wanting to close my business? What a total opposite? Is there anything wrong with me? We have a business and it's running and I want to close it down? Why?
It made me think and there are several reasons:
- It has caused several arguments between Benny and I.
- I don't enjoy managing people, ie the teachers.
- It takes out my precious time that I could have spent with Timmy. I could have played something interesting with Timmy, while I have to teach other people's kids.
- The mothers are demanding beyond words, and the kids are naughty too.
- Timmy doesn't enjoy being there. He told me a lot of times about it.
- We don't earn that much profit anyway. It's better off that I just rent out the place and have a piece of mind.
So, what do I do on my daily basis?
I think the picture below reflects it so well...
I don't get paid for what I do, but I get the reward in being with Timmy, heard his stories as I picked him up from school, as we chatted along the way...., saw him grew up, because childhood is not here to stay.
The poem below is quoted from slowdownmommy.blogspot.co.uk, by Rebekah Knight
Slow down mummy, there is no need to rush,
slow down mummy, what is all the fuss?
Slow down mummy, make yourself a cup tea.
Slow down mummy, come and spend some time with me.
Slow down mummy, let's put our boots on and go out for a walk,
let's kick at piles of leaves, and smile and laugh and talk.
Slow down mummy, you look ever so tired,
come sit and snuggle under the duvet and rest with me a while.
Slow down mummy, those dirty dishes can wait,
slow down mummy, let's have some fun, let's bake a cake!
Slow down mummy I know you work a lot,
but sometimes mummy, its nice when you just stop.
Sit with us a minute,
& listen to our day,
spend a cherished moment,
because our childhood is not here to stay!
And I felt that if I continue on running this place, I would lose Timmy's precious childhood.
As I teach, Timmy mainly plays computer games, while we were there.
We would come home at 18.00, I rushed to cook / warm up dinner, and we had dinner, then I washed the plates. Timmy would then had his shower, while I cleaned the dining table and threw the garbage out for the day.
Here's my current daily routine:
06.00 : I wake up, get changed, make the milk for Timmy, wake him up, prepare breakfast.
06.15-06.30: Timmy gets ready for school by himself and goes down for breakfast.
07.00: Send Timmy to school.
07.20: Cleaned the language center.
08.30: Go home, eat my breakfast, washed the plates from Timmy's breakfast and mine.
Then cleaned the house.
Then do the laundry.
Watched TV for a while.
Cook meals.
12.00: Shower, lunch and then it's about time to pick Timmy up from school.
Pack lunch and everything to bring to language center
01.30: Stay at the language center until around 18.00.
18.00: Go home, prepare dinner. Then had dinner together.
19.00: Washed the dirty plates, while Timmy had his own shower, and I cleaned the dining table and threw the garbage away. Then locked the door for the night.
20.00-20.30: Bed time stories for Timmy.
and the same routine continues the next day.
I had the following quote that I got from a friend at facebook SLBuku:
"Karena Isteri TIDAK BEKERJA..???"
Seorang suami mengeluh karena merasa capek... capek dan capek....
Berikut tanya jawab antara seorang suami (J) dan Psikolog (T)..
T : Apakah pekerjaan Pak bandy?
J : Saya bekerja sebagai Akuntan di sebuah Bank.
T : Isteri Bapak ?
J : Dia tidak bekerja. Hanya ibu rumah tangga saja.
T : Tiap-tiap pagi siapa yang menyediakan sarapan?
J : Isteri saya menyediakan sebab dia tidak bekerja.
T : Jam berapa isteri bangun untuk sediakan sarapan ??
J : Jam 6 pagi dia bangun karena sebelum membuat sarapan dia beres-beres rumah dulu..
T : Anak-anak Pak bandy ke sekolah bagaimana??
J : Isteri saya yang mengantar sebab dia tidak bekerja.
T : Selepas mengantar anak-anak, apa yang selanjutnya isteri Bapak lakukan ?
J : Pergi ke pasar, kemudian kembali ke rumah untuk memasak dan membereskan jemuran. Isteri kan tak bekerja.
T : Petang hari selepas Pak bandy pulang ke rumah, apa yang Bapak lakukan?
J : Beristirahat, karena seharian saya capek bekerja.
T : Lalu apa yang istri bapak lakukan ?
J : Sediakan makanan, melayani anak, menyiapkan makan untuk saya dan membereskan sisa-sisa makanan dan bersih-bersih lalu lanjut menidurkan anak-anak.
Berdasarkan cerita di atas, anda rasa siapa yang lebih banyak bekerja???
Rutinitas seharian istri anda dimulai dari sebelum pagi sehingga lewat malam, itu juga dikatakan TIDAK BEKERJA??!!
Ibu Rumah Tangga memang tidak memerlukan segulung ijazah, pangkat atau jabatan yang besar, tetapi peranan IBU RUMAH TANGGA sangatlah penting!
Hargailah seorang isteri. Karena bagaimanapun pengorbanannya tidak terkira. Ini merupakan renungan untuk kita semua untuk senantiasa saling memahami dan menghargai peran masing-masing. Karena adanya rasa "SALING MENGHARGAI " maka semua akan bahagia.
++++++++
I didn't have a good night sleep last night, and today I felt tired.
And I thought, wow, where did I get all those strength for the work I did days before?
Only God's grace helps me to keep going...
And here's another final story that I want to share from Pamela Lim, as quoted below:
"You will have to choose between family and career in your life," he walked up to me giving me a prelude to my life in order to entice me to patronize his fortune telling business when I was in Hong Kong. I just laughed and walked on but that thought lingered on my mind for twenty over years since I was a trainee bank executive.
Fortune telling is not something I advocate, but I have to admit his lucky guess turned out true: over the last two decades, there were too many occasions I had to choose between career and my family, but the decision was always easy, the family always wins. My mother often tells me that I could have been a 富婆 (richer woman) if I had chosen my career instead, but I tell her to her agreement that looking at my kids, every sacrifice has been so worth it.
As the country becomes more developed, our divorce rate increases while our birth rates fall, our women go out to work leaving the care of our children to maids and third parties, a sad typical phenomenon in any city in the world. I believe there is an alternative way of looking at things. To me, to be truly happy is to be part of a good team, and it is my job to build that good team.
My team consists of my spouse and my children, and I have rationalized that by putting my husband's career priority over mine and support his career even at the expense of my own, the family will gain. My friend once told his wife to stop working because his one increment is more than her one month pay, so monetarily, the family gains because he can work in peace and get more promotions if she stayed at home. He is retired now, and he was right. The kids grew up well, both husband and wife are happy. I know some women will argue about their own careers and happiness etc etc. Hm... then I'll ask the purpose of a career. For me, in everything we do, including building a career, the ultimate aim is to find happiness. If chasing after a career costs happiness, then the career is not worth chasing.
Consequently, I have chosen to forgo many career opportunities and seek only jobs that ensure I have enough time with my children. To me, an opportunity to sit in the lecture theatre with my son to explain the intricacies of human behavior beats sitting in a negotiation to win million dollar deals. Watching my daughter collect her medal on the podium in my simple T-shirt and jeans beats collecting entrepreneurial awards in my best gown. Ultimately, money and fame is foregone, but happiness and stability in the family is built.
So there. That fortune teller was probably a fluke because he thought that colleague walking with me was my boyfriend, but he made a good guess, because he knew most women will face the same decisions some points in their lives. In fact, I believe the same for men, that career should never be a priority over family happiness. Whatever we choose to pursue, there will be opportunity costs, and for me, it is always group happiness first and then individual happiness will follow, never a tradeoff. ~unquote.
